How do I get my child to tell me when they need to go potty?
One of the biggest roadblocks that can occur in the potty training process is when a child is dependent on “verbal prompts” to go pee or poop - essentially, when they don’t initiate it on their own, but rather, have to be reminded to go sit on the potty all. day. long. If you’ve been here, you know how frustrating it can feel to be in this stage!
While this can simply be a part of the learning process for some children, there are certain underlying skills that your child needs to have BEFORE we can expect them to communicate to you when they need to go to the bathroom (in advance!).
Let’s break these down!
Your child needs to know what the toilet is used for. You can start teaching them about it very early on by simply talking about it with them. You can also introduce a small potty around age one and encourage them to play with their little toilet - pretend play is a great way for them to start to understand the purpose of the potty.
Your child needs to see what happens when someone uses the toilet. This can be a great way to model and narrate each step for them as they watch you use the toilet.
Your child needs to show an understanding of when they have already gone in their diaper. This can be something like telling you they’ve pooped, pulling at their diaper, gesturing, asking to be changed, etc.
Children needs to have successfully peed or pooped in the potty before. It is difficult to expect them to communicate the need to do something in advance if they have never experienced doing it before! This can take time, but once they have started peeing or pooping in the potty when brought by an adult, then you can start working on communicating the need in advance.
The good news is that you can start a lot of this prep work early on! If you find yourself feeling frustrated that your child doesn’t communicate to you the need to go, take a step back and see if they have mastered the above four steps. If not, work on those first.
It can also help to narrate the sensation out loud when you have to go. Something as simple as “Oh, I feel like I need to pee. There’s a tingling sensation down there. I’m going to go sit on the potty.” When your child hears you say this, and then watches you use the toilet, it helps them start to understand the connection between a sensation in their body and an action to take.
There are many different ways to explain the sensation. For pee, you could say something like “tingling”, “need to keep legs together” or “feel like doing a dance”. For poop, explaining the sensation of pressure in the lower belly or bottom may help them recognize the signs in their own body.
Want more help with potty training? Try my Potty Training Bootcamp Course! You’ll learn my simple, routines-based, developmentally-friendly, step-by-step potty training method to say goodbye to diapers once and for all!
If you’re seeking more hands-on, real-time guidance and accountability while you potty train, join me for my next 4-Week Potty Training Pod! Next round starts October 7th.
Any questions? Leave them in a comment below or send me an email at jessica@rootedinroutine.com. Here for you, as always!