How to make daycare drop-off easier for everyone
As the start of a new school year approaches, many of you may be sending your baby or child to daycare for the first time. While this transition can feel exciting, it can also feel SO overwhelming and emotional, particularly if it’s your first time dropping your child off at a new place and leaving them in someone else’s care.
First off, know that you are not alone in ANY of your feelings. You may even have multiple conflicting emotions at the same time and that is very normal and common. The transition to daycare is a big change for both you and your child, and it can take some time getting used to.
One of the hardest parts about sending your child to daycare is the physical act of separating from them at drop-off. Every child is SO different in how they experience this separation, and it is largely based on innate temperament and personality. Some kids separate very easily from their parents from day one, and others experience intense emotions for many weeks.
Regardless of which camp your child falls into, there are a few things you can do to make the drop-off experience smoother for both you and your child. These suggestions are based on child development principles and attachment theory, as well as early childhood educators’ experiences and preferences.
How to make daycare/school drop-off easier:
Keep the drop-off itself short and sweet. While it feels so hard to see your child upset, the truth is that the longer you linger to try to make them feel better, the more difficult the inevitable separation will become. Delaying the separation leads your child (yes, even a baby!) to believe that it is, in fact, unsafe for you to leave them - which it is not! Plus, early childhood educators are trained in how to manage a baby or young child’s big emotions, and when a parent lingers, it makes their job much harder to do so.
Create a short drop-off ritual. This can be a short phrase that you say to your child each time (e.g. “School is safe. Mommy always comes back. I love you!”) before you walk away, a silly handshake or high five routine you do with your toddler, or anything else that feels authentic to your relationship with your child. This helps provide predictability within the routine, which helps babies and children feel safe and secure. It also adds playfulness and connection, which is so important in helping to “fill your child’s cup” before you leave.
Keep your emotions calm until you are out of your child’s sight. Yes, this one is about YOU! If your child sees you looking sad or becoming emotional, they will mirror these emotions and learn that drop-off is a sad or upsetting time. As mentioned above, it is very normal for you to feel emotional - just try to save it until after you walk away!
Though not easy, following the three tips above can help prevent big struggles at drop-off in the first place OR help them last for a shorter amount of time.
While it can feel so upsetting to see your child crying, screaming, or melting down, keep in mind that they are in good hands and that you can trust the caregiver(s) that you have chosen.
As someone who has worked in childcare/school settings AND as a parent who has dropped their child off in new places, please know that it does get easier over time. Even if your child is upset when you leave, chances are they will be smiling and playing happily just a few minutes later!
Finally, remember that the anticipation of the change in routine (for you) is often worse than the change itself. Babies and young children do quite well with change, especially once that change becomes consistent. They are really good at separating environments and learn quickly that routines may happen one way at home and another way at daycare. Your child is safe, well-cared for, and going to experience so much learning and growth there.
I hope this post was helpful if you are navigating the transition to daycare for your little one. Please forward this along to a friend or family member who may find it helpful!
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