My Birth Story - Jack Nathaniel, 8/26/20
Let me start off by saying that women are warriors. Since this was my first baby, I didn’t really know what to expect (no friend, book, class, etc can truly prepare you in my opinion) and let me tell you… childbirth is HARD work.
I went into pregnancy and planning my birth wishes as I always do - soaking in as much information as possible. I’m a science nerd and truly love to read evidence-based research, while at the same time I generally take an approach to all things health with the same concept: nature designed us best and often times the best thing to do is support the body to heal (or in this case, birth) as best as we can. For me, this meant choosing a midwife practice (at a hospital) for my prenatal care. Certified Nurse Midwives are nurses who go on to get a specialty degree in pregnancy, childbirth, and women’s health. They are autonomous healthcare providers for all prenatal care, labor, and delivery. They’re simply an alternative to having an OB. They believe that in general, less intervention is best and that women’s bodies were meant to birth if we let them. I liked that the practice I chose was at a hospital - truly the best of both worlds, in my opinion, since I had no idea what to expect. Jake and I also took the Evidence-Based Birth childbirth class (virtually), which I highly recommend if you want to learn the most current evidence behind all things birth as well as learn how to best advocate for yourself in a hospital setting. We also hired a doula, something I knew going into pregnancy that I wanted, and I am so glad we did.
Going into birth, I had a few things that I (ideally) wanted to happen - I wanted to go into labor on my own, I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible before going to the hospital, and I was hoping for a vaginal birth. Thankfully, all three of those things did happen, but it was a longer road to get there than I thought :) Here is the story…
8/24, 6pm: I started feeling lower back pain that I hadn’t really felt before during pregnancy. My back had been hurting throughout the third trimester, but this felt different, though at the time I just thought it was just another “almost 39-weeks pregnant pregnancy pain”. I asked Jake if we could go for a walk to see if that helped me feel better. We walked around the block for about 15 mins and the low back pain just kept getting worse, but I still thought it was simply pregnancy-related and had no idea (looking back) that it would be my first labor sign. We ate dinner, relaxed a bit more, and then headed to bed around 10pm - I was hoping I could fall asleep and my back would feel better in the morning.
...Well, that did not happen! I couldn’t fall asleep and I started to feel mild contractions. I had had these for a few weeks now on and off, so I still wasn’t sure if this was the real deal or not. However, they were coming fairly frequently, about every 3-5 minutes or so, which is a lot more frequently than how I had learned they typically start. I had imagined being able to relax on the couch and watch tv during the initial stages of labor (ha!), but this was coming on faster than I thought. It didn’t feel comfortable to lay down anymore so I had to stand up and move around a bit. The back pain was constant and was getting worse. It felt like tightening/cramping in my lower back that got worse with each contraction but then persisted mildly when they were over.
We called our doula to let her know what was happening and she suggested we start implementing some of the comfort measures we had practiced - things like massage, warm bath, breathing exercises, etc. We also called the hospital, who confirmed that I was in early labor and that I should stay at home for now but to start timing the contractions.
8/25 12-1am: At this point I was kind of in shock that it was actually happening, but was already super uncomfortable and in pain that I didn’t really feel like I had time to process the shock factor of “this is it!”. I spent the next few hours just walking around my room, trying to find comfortable positions for each contraction. We also hadn’t packed our hospital bags yet (oops!), so we did that as well. I tried getting in the bath but with the back pain, I couldn’t get comfortable in the tub. I was still very confused why my BACK hurt so badly…. wasn’t labor supposed to be more like cramps?!
3:30am: Around this time we decided to call the midwife at the hospital again. The contractions were lasting a bit longer and I was getting increasingly uncomfortable. I thought for sure that I was in active labor by now. They told us to come in to get checked - yay! We put Pete, our dog, in his crate, gathered our bags, and left the house around 4am. The car ride to the hospital was not great - I was super uncomfortable sitting in the passenger seat and had to hold on and lean forward with every contraction. Thankfully it was the middle of the night and there was no traffic. We called our doula who planned to meet us there.
4:30am-ish: We arrived at the hospital and they brought me into triage, where I was to get checked. My contractions seemed to lessen at this point which everyone said would happen when you get to the hospital because you have adrenaline running through your body and you’re not quite as calm and relaxed as you are at home. The midwife checked me and her exact words were “you’re not going to like me, but you’re only 1 cm”. My immediate reaction was disappointment - I knew this meant I wasn’t far enough along to stay. She told me we should go home and I should try to rest as best I can and let labor continue to progress on it’s own. Welp - I thought I had already done that!
Our doula met us back at home around 7am and we spent the next nine or so hours laboring at home. It was hard. My back pain was becoming increasingly worse, the contractions were getting stronger and staying closer together, and I was tiring out quickly. Thankfully, she and Jake were able to help provide some comfort with varying my position, using massage and counter pressure (the ONLY thing that helped my back feel somewhat better), diffusing essential oils, and using my breathing techniques. My doula confirmed that I was most likely experiencing “back labor”, where the baby is rotated so his face was toward my belly button and his skull was pressing against my back (it should be the other way around), which causes severe back pain during labor as well as a typically slower progression. Ugh! I was not expecting this and as it progressed I really didn’t know how I could continue this way. Jake and my doula were great at validating me and cheering me on - I COULD do this.
4pm-ish: We decided to call the hospital and ask to come back, as I was ready for some pain relief - aka an epidural. I had planned to play this decision by ear and I’m glad I did… by then I knew I really wanted one. When we were on the phone with the midwife, my water broke! They told us to head right in. The car ride to the hospital was like out of a movie. I was on all fours in the back seat, next to the empty car seat, with my hands holding onto the rear passenger door handle. I could NOT sit upright and so the back seat was the only option - I know that was dangerous, but these were desperate times :) I was using my deep breathing techniques the entire time (and also cursing, ha) while Jake was driving down I-70 in Denver in rainy rush hour traffic. Fun times! I really didn’t think I could last much longer and was SO happy once we got to the hospital.
They admitted us this time and we checked into our room. I had progressed to 5cm! Progress, but still felt slow after being in labor for almost 24 hours already. The midwife confirmed that I was indeed experiencing back labor, so I started with a walking epidural so that I could continue to shift positions in hope that the baby would rotate to the correct position. He was still head down, but facing the wrong way. A few hours later I got the regular epidural and headed into bed. The contraction pain was minimal, but dang my back still hurt so badly!
I continued to (slowly) progress all night and into the next morning. I was able to get some rest overnight, but couldn’t get comfortable in one position for very long because of the back pain. At one point the baby’s heart rate dropped and stayed low, and they called in the OB. Thankfully it resolved with a position change (the nurses had me sit up with my legs in butterfly position with my arms resting on the tray table in front of me which apparently helped the baby’s HR regulate - who knew!) but was very scary in the moment. There was even brief talk of having to do an emergency c-section, which I did NOT want, but thankfully that passed - however, I trusted my medical team 100%, particularly the midwives, and would have done exactly what they recommended in the moment.
7am: By early morning I started to feel really defeated that there was still no baby. This was taking SO long and I felt physically and emotionally drained. I just wanted it to be over! I wanted to trust that my body would continue to progress but I felt like my body was failing me. The new midwife on shift, Ann, kept reminding me that I would get there and that today was going to be the day I would meet my baby :) Looking back I am grateful that the medical staff did not push for a c-section at this time to “speed things up” and trusted in letting the process continue to unfold. Baby was safe, there weren’t any more heart rate scares, it was just a slow progression to dilate fully.
I was now close to 9cm and they started me on some pitocin so that I could continue to progress fully. It did the trick, and a couple hours later I was ready to push! I pushed for two hours, which sounds like a lot, but was actually a very empowering experience. I used a mirror, something I didn’t think I would want, but it ended up being really motivating for me. Jake and I both got to watch the entire thing.
At 12:45pm, 38 hours later, baby Jack made his entrance into the world. They placed him immediately on my chest where he stayed for about an hour with Jake by my side. We did it!
My takeaway: Women are incredible. The fact that this is how babies are born every single day is truly mind-boggling to me. I truly have so much respect for every birthing woman out there. I also have the utmost respect for my own body for getting through this. I don’t wish “back labor” on anyone! I am also SO grateful for modern medicine. I truly don’t know if I could have done it without pain medicine - the back pain was just too intense. I feel lucky that I had options as well as such a supportive birth team. I am SO glad I went with a midwife practice because they truly trusted my body to do the work and did not rush into unnecessary interventions, especially considering my slow progression. I am also so glad we had a doula to provide physical support (she massaged my back throughout the entire time) and emotional support, as well as help advocate for my birth wishes. It truly takes a village!
