Does your child rely on a screen to eat?
A step-by-step plan to say good-bye to screens at mealtimes
Many parents struggle to get their child to sit and eat during meals, often resorting to using screens to help them stay put. No shame if this is you! It happens and sometimes it feels like the best solution so everyone can eat in (relative) peace.
However, if your child is eating in front of a screen for *most*, if not all, meals, this means there is something larger going on that is interrupting the normal feeding experience. They may have learned that they only eat when distracted by a screen, which dulls hunger/fullness cues and prevents intuitive eating (ie. your child won’t really know when they’re hungry or full). Screens at meals also take away from a social mealtime experience, which has been shown to promote lifelong positive eating habits.
So, how can you remove this reliance on screens to eat?
Here is a Rooted in Routine-approved, step-by-step plan:
PREP. Remember - kids don’t like surprises! They thrive when they know what to expect. So, select a meal that you know you will be able to be present for the entire time. Then, start talking about the change with your child a few days or hours beforehand. For example, if you choose lunchtime to try no screens, a couple of hours prior you tell your child “At lunch today, we are going to say bye-bye to the iPad before we eat.” Talking about what will happen beforehand will help your child know what to expect, which decreases the likelihood of pushback.
OFFER AN ALTERNATIVE. At lunchtime, remind your child that we are putting the iPad away. Have them select a special spot for it that is out of sight from the table. (If this causes a tantrum, then swiftly take it and place it in another room.) Then, ask them if they would like to bring another toy with them to the table, such as a doll or a truck. I recommend offering two options from which they can choose, instead of an open-ended question. This way, they still get to bring something to the table to help the transition.
ENGAGE YOUR CHILD. Since toddlers aren’t capable of sitting and eating by themselves for an extended period of time, take this opportunity to sit and eat with them (even if you’re not hungry - serve yourself a plate anyways and take a few bites!). Give your child your undivided attention for the duration of the meal. Talk to them about their favorite things, activities they want to do, what happened at daycare/preschool, etc. This will help keep the focus off the missing screens. Over time, you may not need to sit with them every time, but at the beginning it is imperative to help them transition to eating with other people, instead of a screen.
HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. One thing to remember is that a child is only capable of sitting for approximately 3-5 minutes for every year of age. So, a 2-year-old will be able to sit for about 6-10 minutes! You can gradually work to lengthen this time by making it fun and enjoyable for your child.
I will be honest - your child probably will fight you on this at first. You are taking away something they really enjoy - you would resist that too, wouldn’t you? But remember to hold the boundary, engage them in the meal, and try to make it fun. If they don’t eat the best during this meal, that’s okay! The goal of this meal may not be to finish the food, but to establish a new mealtime routine.
It’s up to you whether you want to go cold turkey for every single mealtime moving forward, or just make screen-free meals a habit for certain meals of the day/week… either is fine, but any number of meals without screen time is better than none!
*Remember, everything in moderation. It is important for your child to have the skills to be able to eat a meal without a screen, but if you’d like to continue using them when you’re out at a restaurant, traveling, or simply out of your typical routine, that is a very valid choice to make.
Comment below - does your child rely on a screen to eat? Feel free to drop any questions and I will help you navigate this change!
If you feel like your child’s mealtime routine and behavior is always messy and difficult, my Comprehensive Routine Guides by age teach you simple, practical, and easy-to-implement ways to help your toddler (and you!) love mealtimes again.