When should my toddler start to help with chores?
Follow these tips to encourage natural helpfulness in your toddler!
The simple answer is - as early as possible! The truth of the matter is, after months and - let’s face it - YEARS - of doing everything for your child, you may start to notice your young toddler beginning to become interested in things you do around the house. This is natural and it is best to capitalize on their interest when you see it.
Personally, when J was around 18 or so months, I noticed that he began showing a lot of interest in the daily tasks that I was doing - laundry, cooking, running the dishwasher, etc. Instead of trying to scoot him away or distract him with anything else, I tried to let him “help” me as much as possible.
You might see signs that your child is wanting to help with tasks somewhere around 2 years old, or even a little earlier. Kids start becoming more observant and start to imitate what they see the adults in their lives do. For example, when J saw us sweep the floors after dinner, he wanted to have a turn doing it. By all means - yes! If we start allowing him and teaching him how to do these things when he is young, it will become a natural habit for him. If we don’t allow him to help, he will begin to show less and less interest over time, which will make it harder to “get him to do chores” as he gets older. Plus - young children feel so accomplished when they help you complete a task!
A few things to try to remember as you cultivate your child’s interest in chores:
Ever noticed your child playing house? Or pretending to clean something? They are imitating what they are seeing you do! Kids watch the caregivers in their lives as an example of what to do - this is how they learn.
When you notice your toddler starting to become interested in helping you, encourage it! Allowing them to explore and practice are great ways for them to build their skills and maintain interest in these types of tasks.
When you are not in a rush, try to genuinely let your toddler help you with a household task. Give them a small, specific part of the task to do. Yes, the whole thing will probably take longer and you may have to redo some things later,, but know that your child will never learn how to do it if you don’t give him the chance to try.
This may be a controversial statement, but I feel it is important to have Jack see me do the chores around the house, instead of saving them for nap time or after bedtime. Mainly, I want him to realize that someone does these things - they don’t magically get done! I also want him to see HOW they are done so that he, too, can do them. He may not be able to do every step, but he can certainly help out.
So, what kinds of things can toddlers help you with?
Watering the plants
Setting the table
Clearing the table
Throwing their dirty diaper away
Putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket
Taking clean clothes out of the dryer
Sorting clean laundry
Washing and drying the dishes
Running and emptying the dishwasher
….. And so much more!
Remember, it’s important to give your toddler a specific, small part of the task to help you with at first. They are going to be confused if you say “help me set the table”. Instead, tell them exactly what you want them to help you with. For example, you may say “Here are three forks. Let’s go put them down on the table.” or “You can help me take the clothes out of the dryer, then put them in this basket.”
If you are finding that you are requesting your child to help and they are resistant, try to figure out why. Was it something new and they are scared of the unknown? Has that task been a negative experience in the past? Just because they say “No!”, don’t stop offering that they help you each time.
Often, it can be useful to phrase it as more of a suggestion, rather than a question. Instead of “Will you put this in the sink, please?” you could say “Let’s put this in the sink and then go outside!” Don’t force it, especially in the young toddler years, but just simply keep inviting them to help you.
If you are interested in learning more about the history of young children “helping” with chores across different cultures, check out this book Hunt Gather Parent - I found it to be a fascinating read!
And if you are struggling with getting your toddler to help you with tasks, check out my Toddler Daily Routine Guides. Each guide has an entire section dedicated to “Household Chores” to help teach you exactly how to involve your child in chores in an age-appropriate, routine-based way. Grab the 2-3 Year Guide or the 3-5 Year Guide to match your child’s age!