Help! My child is scared to sit on the potty!
Let’s learn where potty fear comes from and what to do about it.
Parents often tell me they’d like to start potty training soon, but their child seems afraid of the potty. This is actually way more common than you think! In fact, it is completely normal for young children to be scared of new and unfamiliar things.
Here are a few things to try if your child seems afraid of the potty:
Reduce the unknown. For many toddlers, the concept of using the toilet is a strange one. They’ve only used diapers and now suddenly, there is this new thing that they are supposed to pee and poop in One of my biggest tips is to have them watch YOU use the toilet. Narrate the steps you are taking, which might sound like “I’m pulling down my pants and sitting on the potty. I’m letting my pee come out. Now, I’m going to wipe and pull up my pants. Time to flush! Can’t forget to wash my hands.” Having your child watch you go through the process can help eliminate any unknowns they may have.
Stop labeling diapers and poop as “yucky”, “stinky”, and “dirty”. This is such a common thing we do as parents because a soiled diaper is not pleasant! However, your child may start to think of their body parts as “yucky”, “stinky”, and “dirty”. If we can change the narrative a bit to be more neutral, it can help your child understand that everyone does these things. Everyone poops! Instead, say “Poop comes out of everybody’s body. It’s good to let your poop out! We always want to wash our hands after we poop.”
Provide choice and age-appropriate control surrounding the potty. Hands down, this is one of my favorite parenting tips that can work in all sorts of situations, and it is super helpful during the beginning stage of potty training prep. When you are trying to suggest that your child sit on the potty, give them a choice of which item/toy to bring, or a choice between how to get there. For example, you can say “Do you want to bring a truck or a book to the potty?”, or “Should we crawl or run to the potty?” This gives them age-appropriate control over the situation, which toddlers crave, while still accomplishing the end goal.
Ultimately, don’t force it. Do what you can to keep the entire potty experience a neutral or even positive one. If your child is heavily resisting, take a break from any formal potty training, re-visit these tips, and come back to it in a couple of weeks.
I always suggest introducing the potty early on, even months (or even years!) before you officially begin potty training. Having early exposure can really help when you decide to dive into getting rid of diapers. Check out my FREE “Where the heck do I start with potty training?” Guide to learn how to get started!
If you feel like your child may be officially ready soon and you want to use a routines-based, child-led method to potty train your toddler, check out my Potty Training Bootcamp course. This online course guides you through the prep and the steps you can take to help your toddler potty train like a champ. This isn’t a 3-day method or a weekend method - this is a more gradual approach that I have found helpful with so many other families I have worked with (and even with my own son!).
Tell me - does your child seem afraid to use the potty? Comment below or send me a DM on Instagram and I can help!